Author Archives: Ayanna

What is TOO grown?

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Remember my blog about the little girl who wrote the explicit lyrics
on her drawing at my job? Well her name is Derriel and I had the
pleasure of meeting her and her very young mother (21 year old young
woman,Derriel is seven. You do the math.)  When I asked her was she
aware of the type.of lyrics her daughter was listening to. She merly
said “oh she is young she doesn’t know what that means.” I asked her
“are you sure, I think she may have a clear idea of what that means.”
Her mother eyed me up and down and said “well she is my child and can
do as she pleases.” I left the conversation at that because I could
not fathom how stupid she actually was as to how she is leading her
daughter down a terrible path of one day becoming a woman!
Then I asked myself how would you react if you was in that situation yan?  I really couldn’t answer myself especially if I know I was listening to this type of music around my son or daughter. As parent we do have certain guidelines who we must follow not to say our kids will be picture perfect but all in all we still should try our best! I use always wonder why my mom didn’t let me do certain things and that is because she didn’t want me to grow up to fast. I just feel like in todays generation parents don’t set bounderies for the children and that is not good for our future as African-Americans what do we have forward to look too for in the near future.   Hopefully thing can fully change over the nick of time because of it doesn’t we are pretty much done as a race, well not done but we might as well reverse time and become slaves.

Hail Mary

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This past tuesday and best friend and I were talking, he express to me how he thought about killing himself. Now if you knew my friend like how I do, you would think you was talking to a totally different person. This was NOT him at all, I asked why would he ever think of something so horrible to do. He explain how he can’t take people judging him any more its to much to bare. My friend is a homosexual male who recently came out to the world (New Orleans) that he was, and the attention he got from it was crazy. People sent him all kind of hate messages, calling him out of his name, making fun of his family, females he has dated sent him threat saying they will kill him. I really don’t understand how people can be so upset about something that doesn’t even conserns them. He didn’t really care about what the people were saying, it was more of the things his family was saying. his mother for instance was saying how he was bound for hell. His sister told him that he would never get a job because no one would want to hire a “faggot nigga” That right there really pissed me off because is families lifes aren’t saint-perfect. I had to remind him that nobody in this wolrd is perfect and that we all sin. Just because his sin is different from others does not makes their chances good of getting into to heaven much greater. All sins a equally the same in gods eyes and I don’t think people realize that or want to believe that they are sinning. I let my friend know that he is a good person and no matter what people may think of you, you are not God and they do not have the final judgement on your life.

Changing People

Why are people so focus on changing other people? I never understood the reason as to why you think you have to change someone to make your self comfortable with that person?
This past weekend my good friends and I were out celebrating my new accomplishment in life (becoming a Devastating Diva of DST) we were laughing and having a good time until a new friend to the group decided to ask my cousin Maci and long time friend Terrioues when will they become a couple! Now let me feel you in on this story Terrioues, Maci and I having been knowing each other since way back in the day and Maci and Terri are best friends but Terri loves her more than that and yes, you guessed it she doesn’t feel the same. It’s kind of like a Lifetime Tv Show or movie. I hate it becasue I’m stuck in the middle of their lovers battle or whatever. Maci being the outspoken young she is , responded “Never me and terri are just friends.” I glanced at Terri and seen that he was now upset. The first thing that I thought was “Damn can we celebrate me for once?” I intregected “I dont think thids hsould be the topic of conversation right now.” “Why not Yan Maci need a real dude in her life to change her and her ways.” You ever seen someone get hit by a bus? Well if you haven’t just imagine something coming so quick your way you didn’t even see it because that is exactly what happen Maci went off on Terri and his friend. How dare you tell a female she needs to change? when will men understand that us women are very emotional you just say anything that comes to your mind about a woman and expect her not to react. Needless to say Terri not only messed up his chances with Maci, but has messed up their friendship.

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Earlier this week my sorority sisters and I were having conversation about men. It was really interesting because not all of us are into men but still we were all so intrigied in to what each other had to say. For the most part we all agreed on what type of men we like, Tall, Handsome, God-Fearing, Educated, Strong, SEXY (lol), and most of all loving. I being the one who always loves to debate asked “Well does your man have to make more money than you, I myself probably will make more money than my husband (this is just the type of hustle I have) and I don’t mind if I do. You should have seen the faces these girls had when I said that. It was comments like How could he be a man if he can’t provide? My thing is my future husband will provide no ifs,ands, or buts about that. I’m just merly saying that to me it doesn’t matter if I make and extra thousand a month and he doesn’t. As paid attention to what they all had to say I could not help but understand some of us were raised to believe that men are suppose to make more money than their wives. I believe that it is an old way of living. Picture this only men working in america, this world would be so messed up it would’t even be funny. I mean think abouit it us women need to put things in correct orders and sometimes men don’t have the power to do that. Like my mother always says certain things just needs a womens touch for it to be correct or right. Not saying men are incapible well technically I am but we all get the picture of what I am saying.

Twerk Sumtin Hoe

In today’s generation Twerking has become the best thing since slice bread to not only just African- Americans but to all races and genders. Let me take you back to the year of 1995 when local New Orleans rappers Mysitkal and Mia X decided to make a strip club banger called “Shake Something” The lyrics read “Go ahead girl, handle your business,Twerk something’ shake sometin’ bring that ass over here.” This to me is what started the Evoloution of Twerking. Artist such as Beyonce, Tyrese, Lil Wayne and many more all started to use the word “Twerk” in their lyrics.

Ok now I raised to only tweak or shake when you are in the comforts of your own home or with friends but NEVER in public. It’s a popular dancing style and I’m pretty sure most of us have tried to “twerk something” In today’s club scene you’ll see many girls bent over backwards just so you can see how good or how fast they can make their asses go around in a circle, this really baffles me at times. Women and young men have made a living out of twerking and I really don’t understand how you can call something like that a “job” why not strip? That’s basically what people do; twerk to amaze people like strippers right? Only difference is, twerkers have on clothes and sometimes they barley have clothes on. Twerking has gone viral, from twerking in Walmart to Hannah Montanna bending and bussing it open on the VMA’s(smh).
Relating back to my last blog about how as a parent you should monitor what your children are watching or doing, if Derriel is watching mama twerk than eventually Derriel will fall in the footsteps of her mother right? I am not saying we should band twerking but I am saying people can at least tone it down a bit, especially if our younger kids are watching us as close as they are. Besides what man can truly respect a girl who is twerking every weekend in the club? Or the better question is what real woman can respect a man that shakes his ass faster than mine? No ma’am miss Pam that right there honey is for the birds!

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Over Exposure

Yesterday at work doing the opening morning checklist I stumbled across a drawing that was on display that one of the many kids that comes to my job drew! It was a picture of a little girl with a bunch of flowers and stars and other miscellaneous things girls draw when they doodle! As I looked over the drawing I came across the only words besides her name on the paper, it read “don’t blame it on the yack that gose, that’s a rock.” Ok now if you listen to bounce music or have listened to the Social Shakedown on Saturdays I’m pretty sure that those words sound familiar. The original lyrics are “don’t blame it on the yac, that goose, that ciroc; boy you got me hot come over to my spot. Now the drawing was a made by an 8 year old, what the hell does she know about ciroc? Are today’s parents slipping at what is ok for their children watch and listen to? That song is about sexual content and I surely don’t think an eight year old should be listening to that type of music! When I was eight my mother had a strict rule about what I could and could not listen to, even still to this day if we are watching tv and two people are kissing my mother will turn the channel, I’m 20 now you’ll think I’m well aware of what goes on in the world today but an 8 year old? Some parents just need to get it together. I feel as parents you should always be aware of what your kids are watching. I am pretty sure if the little 8 year can understand don’t blame it on the yack, I’m pretty sure she can understand the next few lyrics “let put it in your face.” Hmmmmm what’s your thoughts on this?

Ms. CEO vs. Mr. College Dropout

This past weekend I cam across a lovely couple and their kids. A happy looking family until the husband and wife began to converse with each other. Fussing and bickering constantly in front of their kids like they weren’t even there. I didn’t get why they were fighting, well that was until I started eavesdropping a little more. The couple was arguing about the “M” word. Money of course. The wife was upset because she always had to pay for everything when they went out as a family, in the husbands defense I could tell that he does try,  from the time they walked into the door together the wife was on the phone not even paying attention to her kids or husband.
I bring up this argument to say ladies is it a real problem that you make more money than you man and that you have to pay for everything every time ya’ll go out?? I myself proababl wouldn’t be with a man like that, not because its a really big problem but after a certain amount of time and you are not even trying to attempt to find a decent job I can no support you I am sorry. I mean every woman wants to be pampered at some point in time, and I feel that relationships are suppose to be 50/50 not 80/20. No I don’t need a man to take care of  me but DAMN can I at least dwell on the fact that if I had a man that he could take care of me because he has a job and means to make him and myself life good as it can get. Maybe this makes me goldiggerish but like K.Michelle said “I can’t raise NO man” I refuse to play momma to my husband and my children, no ma’am that is for the birds.

The Bitter Black Woman

Why is that every time a black woman disagrees with something she is deemed a bitter black woman? I really don’t understand that not one bit. Being the strong black young woman that I am, unfortunately is put in the category of being that “bitter black woman” this past weekend I shared my views on the whole Step-parenting thing with a few friends plus one extra person who I am not to fond of! Anywho, I said my piece about how nobody will put their hands on my child, I don’t play that! Especially by the father of my childs new girlfriend! (Let’s note I hope I don’t have to go through any of this I will like for the father of my children to be my husband, but hypothetically speaking) My friends all agreed with me I mean who wants their kids being disinclined by someone else step-parent, uncle, aunt, grand-parent etc. So the person I’m not to fond of decided to answer with “you black women know y’all some bitter creatures, afraid of the fact that another woman can do your job just as good as you!” If anyone knows me knows that calling me out on something and you barley know me is a BIG no no! I simply replied to him saying “excuse me but you don’t know me nor will you ever get a chance too. I personally don’t care if me making a big deal about who will discipline my future children makes me look bitter those are MY (future) kids not no one else’s punching bag or stress reliever. People take punishment to an entirely different level and that is something I don’t agree with, so if that makes me bitter then I’m one happy bitter BLACK woman, and as far as someone raising my kids better than me well that’ll never happen because I’m one of a kind and I’ll be sure to ALWAYS put my children’s best interest first!” Needless to say he walked out the room feeling defeated by a so called “bitter black woman!”lol

STEP-parenting dos and don’t s

Last Monday I had a conversation with a good friend  of mine, he  had asked me when does he think I will ever be ready to settle down and have kids! To be completely honest with you I don’t really know when I’ll ever be ready to have kids but if had to give an answer I would say 25 years old (23 , at the earliest). We then went on to discuss parenting skills and how we will think ourselves and our significant other or baby mama/ baby daddy would be! Personally I would hope in my near future I am having  a child  or  children with my husband! In the case of  it not working out and I do find someone else to share my life or time with I would have to let them know that  my kids have me to discipline them. Now if my childrens father decides to get a girlfriend in his life I would pull her to the side  or take her out to eat and explain to her woman to woman, Look my kids have ONE mother the whole calling you mom also is not going to fly its either Ms.Whatever or Whatever her name is! Also my kids have a mother and father to discipline them so I should never hear about you EVER putting your hands on my children because the consequences and repercussion to that of which you putting your hands on my child will result into something that does need to be started.  I also understand that it may seem like myself and (who my childs father is) may not have everything together and you wanna help and add your two cents in, but at the end of the day any discussions made about my children will be made by myself and their father. At the end of the day as long as you respect me and my children we will return it  to you!

Needless to say once my friend and I ended  this conversation he was atonished about my replies.lol

Act Like A Lady? Or Think Like A Man?

This past weekend I was babysitting my four little cousins, being the big cousin that I am I have a low tolerance for foolishness and temper-tantrum. So they had two choices either go to sleep or watch a movie. Of course watching a movie was their choice. The movie of choice was of course Think Like A Man. As the movie came to its climax the oldest little cousin (Taija)  ask “Yannie is this really the way you find love?” I was taken a back because she is only sixteen years old and is in her first lil relationship. “Well what do you mean?’ I asked her ” Do women have to act a certain way to find a man?” I laughed. I laughed because she was so serious and intrigued as to what my answer may be. “Did you have to act a certain way for boys to like you at school.” She then gave me a stale face and said “No they like me for me.” Realizing she had answered her own question she laughed. I then went to explain to her that I personally feel that altering the way you act, changing appearance, and the way you speak for another boy/man is stupid. He isn’t falling for you, he is falling for an actress but that isn’t who YOU are, resulting in your relationship starting off with lies. The whole think like a man concept is silly to me. How in the hell am I suppose to ACT like a lady but THINK like a man. If I am thinking like man I would eventually become manly like and that would result in me being manless. I believe ladies should think like WOMEN and not little girls and know what they want in life and stop playing games and let love find you. In the book of genesis it reads God made Eve for Adam then the two shall become one not the other way around. As a woman we should know our worth and not settle or try to think like the opposite sex.